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Response to ‘A Cop’s Wife’

August 15, 2014

I don’t do much blogging anymore, but Kristi Neace’s post inspired me to get back at it. She wrote an impassioned editorial on what it’s like to be married to a police officer in the wake of what’s happening in Ferguson, MO. I strongly encourage you to read it before continuing. I wanted to address Mrs. Neace directly in hopes that she reads it and can make sense of the outcry.

Mrs. Neace, I can understand this viewpoint as it makes perfect sense from your side. But you have to take time to flip that coin. I only ask that you consider a line of logic lifted right from your writing.

You asked us to stop and think what it would be like to work over 80 hours a week. You also brought up the night terrors experienced if any sleep is had at all. Most notably, you wrote about how the stresses of the job take a toll on the minds and psyches of police officers.

Honestly, I’ve thought about all these things. I’ve done much empathizing about it. But I wonder if you considered the fact that someone afflicted with all that you mentioned might be problematic with a gun in hand. If you took the veil of police officer from that person you described, would you want THAT person to be armed? We’re expected to believe police officers somehow will always rise above that toll on their psyche. But they’re regular people under severe stress with deadly weapons. Can you understand how that would be scary for unarmed citizens?

As you stated, police officers routinely miss meals and important family functions only to deal with thugs and drunks causing carnage. I’m neither of those but was born and live in a place where that exists. By happenstance, I may look and dress like those drunk thugs because we have the same influences though we chose different paths. Have you considered my unease when a person with a handheld WMD that’s already worked 80 hours is looking for a drunk thug that looks and dresses like me?

So I get it. I’m sure when you hear someone on TV exclaim “They left Mike Brown in the middle of the street for hours!”, you shake your head cause you know that’s likely because they can’t tamper with the evidence of what is now a murder scene. You probably see a tweet saying “These cops hate your black skin!” and want to furiously respond with #NotAllCops. I get it. And the frustration you feel with people that don’t get it is warranted. But you don’t truly know their frustration either.

Please take this journey in my head for a moment. You said your husband wanted to be a police officer since he was a boy. He grew up to be a man that reached that commendable goal. But a police officer is a person that is given carte blanche to rule over civilians with an iron fist (an iron fist that fires bullets, might I add). You can’t tell me a person that’s wanted that type of lordship since childhood is not stricken with at least a hint of megalomania. Couple that with the mental instability you worked hard for us to sympathize with. Imagine how it feels for me to have to deal with a person heralded because of a uniform that’s on the brink of psychosis and carrying both grandeur delusions and tools for ending my life. Sounds a bit rough, does it not?

Unfortunately you and I can’t immediately do anything about the ungodly hours and the mental health issues that go along with police work. But there are legislators that can. If you and I can put pressure on them to allocate funds limiting police officers to 12 hour days and to treat depression, bipolar disorders, and the like as if they’re real problems, then maybe we can make some progress. But you and I also have to come together and get assault rifles out of the hands of police, get real sensitivity training administered, and make them live in the communities they’re sworn to protect… but you didn’t say any of those things. The empathy you want readers to feel for police officers and their families should be packaged with your disgust with a teenager being murdered unjustly by one… that didn’t happen in what you wrote. Instead, you gave us bible scriptures from which “Thou shalt not kill” is a really big thing in.

So I hope you understand that what you’re saying is merited. But it’s imperative to understand both sides. It doesn’t seem like you’ve done that as meticulously as you think. Having to deal with thugs and drunks’ carnage all day after missing your daughter’s recital doesn’t give him or her the right to shoot me on my way home from NOT causing those things. I’d like to think I added some perspective as having it is the only way we are all going to fix this. If not, we’ll just have this conversation again next time.

Spike Lee’s Oldboy Was Better

February 17, 2014

Not trying to be incendiary, it’s the truth. I am a big fan of the original Oldboy. But everything that was dumb, useless, and absurd was taken out or made to make more sense in the remake.
I felt like I was the only person in the world that was excited for Lee’s reimagining of Park Chan-wook’s masterpiece. But, because of my demanding work schedule, I didn’t get to see it right away. Well, unfortunately I was pretty much right about being the only one that wanted to see it. In a five day opening, it made just over $1M… those are B-movie type profits. Moreover, when my schedule opened up and I plotted out time to go see it (which was less than two weeks later), it had already been ushered out of the theaters.
I just watched Lee’s Oldboy last night through some all too normal, albeit illegal, means… I downloaded it. I figured, with the bad publicity and terrible reviews, I was wasting my time trying to see it anyway. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Because of that, I feel really bad for Spike. He got set up. He got put in a losing position. No matter what, fanboys were going to hate it because it was made… period. And, let’s just call it as we see it, critics hate Spike Lee. So he was already way behind the eight ball. Then the studios clearly weren’t trying to put any money behind it. I feel like it was a concerted effort to make sure Lee will not be allowed to make another big budget movie again. That sucks.
I’ll give you hardcore fans the fact that Chan-wook’s iconic, single shot fight scene in the original was broken up in Lee’s. It borderlines blasphemy (although, I believe it was Lee’s plan to have a continuous shot). Nevertheless, the remake was better. I’d even venture so far as to say much better. It was more palatable and more believable. So if you’re mad there was no stupid giant ant or octopus snack or hypnotism in Lee’s remake, I can’t help you. But if you’re willing to believe that Park Chan-wook’s movie actually could have been improved upon, I’d suggest you seek it out.
To Spike Lee, you made a damn good film. I wish I could’ve seen it in the theater, but consider the BluRay bought. You were very ambitious playing a game you couldn’t win. I enjoyed the sport.

Young Jeezy Is a Bag Overflowing with Scum

January 6, 2013

Hello, friends. I hope you’re enjoying 2013. Unfortunately I have to start my first post of the new year with a rant. I hope you’ll accept my apologies, but stupidity forces my need to write.

Sometimes my brother uses my iTunes account to buy songs/albums. They’re usually not tracks I gravitate to. He bought Young Jeezy’s TM:103 Hustlerz Ambition (yes, I realize I’m very late). Though I’d never buy that album for myself, Young Jeezy intrigues me. One day I decided I’d listen to the joints while doing stuff around the house… why the hell did I do that?

So the 3rd song is called OJ featuring a couple more Rocky Mountain Oysters named Fabolous and Jadakiss. I’ll spare you the details of the track and just fast forward to my point of contention: the last line of the chorus goes “Killin’ that white bitch/OJ”.


Whatever you think about OJ Simpson, the trial, etc is whatever you think about it and that’s fine. However, it’s really messed up that family members of Nicole Brown Simpson can’t be fans of rap/hip-hop because any of its ambassadors at any point in time may make a horrific lyric about their slain loved one. Nicole Brown Simpson is a murder victim. She didn’t do anything justifying being killed nor her killing be used in a sick metaphor. What part of being brutally stabbed to death makes you a “white bitch” exactly? Moreover, why is that okay?

I imagine if I wrote that line to finish my hook, I’d say to myself ‘You know what, Ruf, that’s not cool’ and figure out some different rhyming words. Young Jeezy, though… nope. I bet he didn’t have a second thought. How stingy can you be with your damns not to give one just from a standpoint of empathy? What kind of foolishness are consumers on where knowing he probably didn’t think twice about that line doesn’t act as a deterrent?

It’s cool, though. Go ahead and support these knuckle draggers no matter what they do. I’ll be over here waiting for you to get mad when Young Jeezy says something dumb like “I’ll take your kids out/Sandy Hook” and ask why you’re surprised.

Well isn't that nice.

Well isn’t that nice.

Detroit CYDI – To Be Continued

September 8, 2012

Yes, I do other things besides make death-inducing breakfast sandwiches. My group Detroit CYDI just debuted our new video called To Be Continued. The song is one of my favorites we’ve ever made. Moreover, the fun we had making the video is incalculable. Hopefully you’ve seen The Avengers allllllll the way to the end so the video will be that much funnier to you. SHOUT OUT TO BYBLOS FOR THE DELICIOUS SHAWARMAS! I hope you like it:

Toast of D-Town Ep 1

August 21, 2012

Writing about food is cool, but see it in motion is more ideal for the sophisticated bunch I attract. Reading may be fundamental, but watching is… ummm… MORE FUN-damental. So in this first foray into bringing French toast to moving pictures, I give you Oreo Birthday Cake stuffed French toast… you’ll need a cold shower after this (and watch it in 720P HD!):

Mocha Cappuccino French Toast

August 5, 2012

I am completely enamored by the word “new”. When I see it, I must have it. So imagine how big my eyes got when I saw a jar of Jif with “New Jif Mocha Cappuccino Flavored Hazelnut Spread” emblazoned on the front. You know what I thought… IT’S FRENCH TOAST TIME! I got mad at my knife for getting to taste it before I did:

Since sugar was the first ingredient in the Jif, I didn’t even bother putting any in the egg wash. So I just stirred up 2 whole eggs with some vanilla extract. You know the deals after that:

Yeah, I know that’s 2 French toast sandwiches… how about you shut up. ANYWAY, the Jif had a warning on the back that said “may contain almond” (among other nuts). Though it may have just been an alphabetical thing, I figured, since almonds was the first thing I saw, it may as well definitely contain almonds. So I topped the French toast with sliced almonds, Sanders hot fudge and Cool Whip (this next picture may have you looking like one of Pavlov’s dogs):

WIPE YOUR FACE! This was absolutely delicious, friends. The almonds gave it a nice crunch. The fudge acting as a syrup substitute was wonderful. But, with all that being the case, the mocha cappuccino flavor was still the star. I mean, just look at it:

This is certainly one of my favorite ones to date. What I love the most about French toast is that it can be made to look pretty and taste illegally good but not take very long to make. I say that because I want you to make it and see if you agree with me. So do me that solid and have fun getting fat and feeling fine about it!

Can Porn Music Get A Grammy?

August 4, 2012

I was 10 years old. It was my father’s visitation day. He took me to his apartment and left me there alone for an extended period of time. He didn’t really do the father thing correctly lol. I digress. I was bored and looked around for something to watch. VCRs still existed. While looking for movies, I stumbled across a VHS tape entitled White Bunbusters. Typing those letters made me giggle just now. Porn is cool so I put the tape in. I was not at all ready for the song that would follow pressing the play button. For 20 years after I told my friends the folklore of the White Bunbusters theme song. Problem was I couldn’t find evidence of this movie’s existence. It was like a figment of my sordid musical imagination. Nevertheless, its legend was strong. My friends and I would randomly sing the magical song of White Bunbusters though I was the only one that had ever actually heard it. I nearly gave up trying to find it as I knew only Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster had a copy that they listened to and laughed about on their UFO over tea. Well I checked one more time. When I tell you YouTube is a gift from any and every God that has ever taken time out to do God stuff, this video is what I mean. It proves I’m not crazy. Moreover, it allows you to get the song stuck in your head that should be our new national anthem. Without further adieu, I give to you the greatest song in opening credits history, White Bunbusters:


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