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Cartoon Black History: The Animaniacs

February 3, 2011

The Warner Brothers (and sister) were more than just black in skin color. They were like the animated version of Bebe’s Kids… wait… weren’t they also… ummm… never mind.

Their father was Time Warner. Having a father named Time pretty much explains why their names are Yakko, Wakko and Dot. Mr. Warner was incredibly rich and owned a movie lot. As a way to keep them grounded, he made the younger Warners stay in a water tower. He was a great father.

As heirs to the Warner fortune, The Animaniacs were the richest black children on record. Nevertheless, the siblings had a vice that would eventually be their downfall. They were underage nudists.

Wakko refused to wear pants and Dot was topless everywhere she went. Although Yakko’s decision to go without a shirt is more accepted in public, he had his own disturbing practice that trumped his brother and sister.

Yakko liked to fill his Dockers with various meats and harass people… disgusting. Their lewd antics forced the state to take custody away from Time Warner. While in the system, there was a doctor-in-training that took care of the kids.

The nurse’s beauty only exacerbated the children’s sick fantasies. Yakko and Wakko couldn’t help but be attracted to her.

Despite all the other questionable decisions regarding their sexual urges, the Warner Brothers committed the cardinal sin. They were caught lusting after a white woman.

The security guard at the foster home saw it and snapped. He beat the brothers within an inch of their lives. Dot eventually calmed him down and ran away with her brothers. They entered into witness protection. Rumor has it they changed their names and dimensions and joined the cast of a television show. But there is no way to confirm this. You be the judge.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Lisa G permalink
    February 5, 2011 5:11 am

    hahahahahahahaha….now i’m going to have the animaniacs song stuck in my head for weeks.

  2. Dayna permalink
    February 5, 2011 11:29 pm

    HILARITY! Esp the part about the game + witpro.

  3. February 6, 2011 1:25 pm

    You managed to take my favorite “non-adult” cartoon show from my teenage years (a show so awesome that my entire IPS class spontaneously broke out singing it’s theme song on one glorious day in 9th grade) and turned it into a break down of their niggerdom. You F—ing Win, Sir!

    • February 6, 2011 2:20 pm

      LMAO!!! Thank you, kind sir. It’s tough understanding some things as children.

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