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Cartoon Black History: Megatron

March 3, 2011

Just the utterance of the name Megatron usually brings up scary thoughts of world domination. Though those thoughts are merited, he was more than that.

Megatron was a pioneer as the first black member of the National Rifle Association, or NRA. But it was not easy. Megatron had to sneak in somehow.

The NRA is where Megatron learned the warring ways of his Caucazoid counterparts (hilariously unwarranted blanket statement #1). Simultaneously he realized he was skilled in the art of deception a la Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can. After rising up the ranks of the NRA, his next stop was the army as a tank operator. When he was told black people can’t drive tanks, he changed the rules.

After mastering sharp shooting and ground attacks, there was only one area of warfare he had yet to conquer… the air. However, the Blue Angels was another extremely racist organization (hilariously unwarranted blanket statement #2). But that hadn’t stopped Megatron before and this time would be no different.

Obviously his jet was nowhere near as believable as the gun and tank. Megatron was immediately put on the no fly list. He still had not run out of masks. Since he was under the observation of the government, he completely changed his name and appearance.

Galvatron, Megatron’s new pseudonym, was a 100% home-grown terrorist by the time of his name change. Thankfully, in his quest to take over the planet, he was eradicated by a giant laser of his own making. Nevertheless, his determination should be admired. His thirst for destruction fueled his necessity for knowledge. Black America would be in much better shape with more of his zeal and less of his blood lust (hilariously unwarranted blanket statement #3).

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