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Cartoon Black History: Mojo Jojo

March 10, 2011

Mojo Jojo was a very misunderstood individual. He was an absolute genius. Unfortunately, his smarts led to him being a bit antisocial.

Mr. Jojo always did his best to keep his composure around others. One day, after heckling received for being a member of the Rent is Too Damn High Party, he punched a guy in the nose. He knew his anger had gone too far. He also knew, as a karate expert, he would be able to respect people more if he taught the art of fighting instead of using it.

A week after settling in court for breaking that guy’s face, he opened Dojo Mojo Jojo. Not only did he become the first black martial arts studio owner, but people came from far and wide to learn from him. It helped him stop being an introvert. It helped so much, Mojo got his first best friend.

Professor Utonium and Mojo Jojo got along because they were usually the only ones that knew what the other was talking about. Moreover, what they certainly had in common was their hatred for children. What they didn’t share was the same appreciation for condoms. The professor would end up making a trifecta of mistakes that would change their relationship forever.

Utonium fell in love with fatherhood. Jojo’s position was unchanged as he still loathed kids. The professor wanted his girls Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup to get into some extracurricular activities. He asked Mojo Jojo to teach them karate. Every time Jojo said no, Utonium promised they were different from other kids. After months of rejections, Mojo finally caved.

The professor failed to mention to Mojo that his daughters were different from other kids because they had superpowers. He trained them for weeks without incident. One morning, Mojo Jojo got upset with Bubbles because she wouldn’t get her stance right and giggled through class. Worst. Mistake. EVER.

The girls, quite literally, beat the shit out of Mojo Jojo in Mojo Jojo’s own dojo, Dojo Mojo Jojo. Mojo’s brain suffered too much bruising and he died a painful death. No charges were ever brought against the triplets or Professor Utonium. JUSTICE FOR JOJO!

10 Comments leave one →
  1. Dayna permalink
    March 14, 2011 8:07 pm

    Thank you for the first line of the last paragraph. :,-) (yes that’s a tear, lol)

  2. G Mo permalink
    April 28, 2011 5:04 pm

    “trifecta of mistakes”…classic

  3. sadi permalink
    May 4, 2011 4:07 am

    is just a dick

  4. blondinenwitz permalink
    September 24, 2011 6:04 pm

    hahahah 😀 i love it. i’m researching for a short story (hahaha, don’t ask) and i love this summary of “what really happened”! mojo jojo is a genius. is and always will be!

    • September 25, 2011 12:06 pm

      😀 Thank you so much! Let me know when that short story is done because that will be excellent! Read the other Cartoon Black History posts too. You might like them teehee.

  5. blondinenwitz permalink
    September 28, 2011 5:37 pm

    🙂 I really enjoyed it A LOT!
    puh. my short story turned out to be a longer story (is there something like a not-so-short-story?!) so it will need much more time but i let you know!
    by the way… the main character’s name is mojo.
    okay. i have a look 🙂

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