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Cartoon Black History: Street Sharks

April 14, 2011

Just because it’s black history doesn’t mean it’s always the most positive. This is the story of some guys you didn’t want to be chum-my with… the Street Sharks.

The Street Sharks were a vicious gang lording over the Bronx. Going clockwise from the top in the above picture are Slammu, Jab, Streex and, the most heartless of the quartet, Ripster. They were well known for their incredible strength and ability to instill fear. They used it to their advantage.

That is a still from a bank security camera of the Street Sharks’ most infamous robbery. They walked in, demanded money and brutally beat everyone for no apparent reason. But Ripster lived up to his name when a bank teller didn’t comply as quickly as he would have liked…

Ripster ate him! Then he mockingly checked his teeth in a mirror to fully terrify everyone else into doing exactly what he said. The rest of the Street Sharks had never seen anything so gruesome. Flabbergasted, they all ran out the bank and met in an alley.

Jab took the mirror from Ripster to get rid of the evidence. Streex was visibly disturbed and couldn’t speak. Slammu tried to talk sense into Ripster, but he was too far gone. The bloodlust drove him insane and he turned on his brothers exclaiming they were next. Streex couldn’t allow Ripster’s reign to last any longer and called the highest in command.

Sargent Commander Moby Lick set up a sting thanks to Streex’s tip. Ripster, not eager to go back to jail, advanced on the policemen. He was promptly shot. Streex, Jab and Slammu surrendered.

Slammu and Jab spent the rest of their lives behind bars. Due to his part in bringing down the Street Sharks, Streex was given 10 years. That was Moby Lick’s last bust before retiring and pursuing his other love. He periodically visited Streex in prison telling him there would be a job waiting. When his sentence was up, the now Moby Dick introduced Streex to the world of pornography. He took to it immediately. Streex did not change his name. THAT is jawsome.

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