Ten Terrific Twitter Testimonials 15
Thanks for tuning in for another week at The Consummate Button Masher. Since it’s Monday, it’s time to crack open another 4T ounce bottle of Twitter.
- MY SISTER: “I get weird dreams when I have a headache.” MY MOTHER: “Oh, like ax killings?” [I died laughing when she said that!]
- Mushrooms are how the devil reminds you of his existence.
- I took a cheesecake over to my grandmother’s house that nobody ate. I have since changed my name to Nobody. #Ungift
- I would like to formally thank Will.I.Am for making sure I never type “Willaim” by mistake ever again.
- It’s a shame that people don’t understand talking is a privilege that can be quickly taken away by a swift aluminum bat swing to the mouth.
- Appreciate your vagina. One brought you here and yours will likely get you out of some tough situations.
- I feel like Drake in that awful Sprite commercial before he turned into a Gobot. #ImJustNotFeelinIt
- I think the world would be a better place if ketchup didn’t exist.
- Lansing is missing the necessary… ahem… Greece to house real Coney Islands.
- @RufioJones <— fictional character
Well that was a nice little romp through the tunnel of weird that is my brain. Same time and place next week!
FOLLOW ME: @RufioJones