Ten Terrific Twitter Testimonials 16
It’s the final week of April. This month disappeared! Well I hope this makes the last Monday magnificent. If it doesn’t, I owe you rocks of crack. Don’t expect to get rocks of crack from me, though. So there’s a lot riding on this lol.
- #2011rules If a woman asks “Do these jeans make my butt look big” and you say “No”, follow it with “That’s why you need to change them.”
- Going outside of one’s norm every once in a blue moon does not require becoming a werewolf and causing destruction. –#RUFucius
- The winners of the Mega Millions were in Post Falls, ID and Ephrata, WA? I bet this’ll be the first time they get head they didn’t pay for.
- My coworker gave me an Automotion swimsuit calendar. Talk about your year starting off hard. LOL
- I like faucets with handles instead of knobs. But not as much as I like women with knobs instead of handles.
- I ate my first grilled PB&J sandwich. Do you still need to consult a doctor for an erection lasting more than 4 hours not caused by Cialis?
- The vagina is a wonderful place. However, don’t treat it as a tourist destination and quit charging for admission.
- That smoothie was so thick I gave it my number before I drank it.
- Twitter keeps wanting me to follow Chris Brown. Only way I’m following him is with a left jab after a right hook.
- I’m sorry for not saying anything completely ridiculous since this morning. How about this… I’m excited for the return of The Game. LMMFAO
I think those should clear me of any crack rock promises.
FOLLOW ME: @RufioJones