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Cartoon Black History: Puff the Magic Dragon

May 19, 2011

Everyone knows I’m not a fan of drugs. But I can respect someone with the moxie of a business mogul. Some people just don’t know the skills they have right away. Puff the Magic Dragon was one of those individuals.

Puff was a Rastafarian from Hanalei, Jamaica. He spent most of his time wasting time. After long hours of doing nothing, he had to find a hobby. So the rest of his freedom was weed related. Puff was very scientific about his marijuana. Because when he smoked… he SMOKED!

Did you notice the pink hue of the smoke from his blunt? It was Puff’s own creation. It’s sativa wrapped in rose petals with each end dipped in milk from the teat of a flamingo. The chemical reaction caused it to burn that color when lit. As all weed has to be named, he called it Pink Ribbon. He didn’t think much of it until a small group of aficionados became intrigued by what he was smoking.

The Living Sneezes had a, ahem, nose for good green. Moreover, their large snouts somehow made them invulnerable to coughing fits. So they were the perfect cannabis connoisseurs and Pink Ribbon was like nothing they had before. It also got them higher than they believed possible. They began to see all types of crazy things.

Puff the Magic Dragon and the Living Sneezes came together to start a very successful drug cartel they code named Fancy Stuff. Obviously Pink Ribbon was their main source of income. But they made so much money that they started diversifying their line of products.

They made millions in the course of a few years. Fancy Stuff’s downfall was that it got too big too quickly. The government took notice. One of the Living Sneezes was turned into a NARC. His testimony brought the organization to its end. Thanks to having friends in high places, the Sneezes got off on technicalities. Puff, on the other hand, was sentenced to 20 years and somberly hauled off to cave jail.

Puff did 10 years when given the opportunity to get out on good behavior. The only stipulation was that he become part of a Scared Straight program. He couldn’t wait to join and help some wayward youth while aiding in his own repentance.

Puff helped dozens of kids by talking to them and keeping them off the streets. When released, he used his acquired business savvy to open a dreadlock salon. It’s unfortunate it took so long, but Puff found out his power later on in life. Hopefully his sacrifice will help other drug dealers understand that, if they can run an illegal business, they can easily be some company’s CEO. Here’s to you, Puff! Where’s your fancy stuff?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2011 3:10 pm

    “It’s sativa wrapped in rose petals with each end dipped in milk from the teat of a flamingo…he called it Pink Ribbon…” < Foolishness. #GreatJob Sir.

  2. Lisa G permalink
    May 22, 2011 9:29 am

    hahaha, did you get this story straight from the flamingo’s teat???? win.

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