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Cartoon Black History: Gargoyles

June 16, 2011

There are many negative stereotypes that go along with being black. The strange thing is no one ever really knows where they start. Well I did some research.  It unearthed the origins of one of the most vile prejudices and those at the helm of it.

The Gargoyles were a warrior clan indigenous to Scotland. As you may know, Scotland is the birthplace of the kilt. The Gargoyles had a their own version of the kilt as they didn’t wear pants either. But, being of African decent, they wore loin cloths because, well, I think you know. (insert smarmy pimp laughter here)

That’s Goliath, king of the Gargoyles. They were true fighters sworn to protect themselves and their clan from any threat. They were also a very tight-knit group. When a puny sorcerer wanted to be part of the clan, he was heckled mercilessly. What the Gargoyles didn’t know was what he lacked in muscles he made up for in magical abilities.

Puck, pissy about not being accepted, went to his magic book of tricks. Since they wouldn’t budge from their decision, he found a spell that would make them immovable for a millennium.

1000 years later, the spell was lifted. However, there were side effects. The Gargoyles were only allowed from their stone prisons when the sun went down.

They were in a completely different world from the one they knew. But their warrior nature was in tact. Therefore, they inherently fought evildoers. Any criminal that challenged them, sentient or otherwise, was vanquished. Gargoyles were the night’s knights.

Unfortunately, around 9am, a lady was robbed and shot. She was run to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband was quoted in the local newspaper saying “Where were those lazy ass Gargoyles when she needed them?!”

As crime rose during the day, those sentiments grew throughout the town. “Someone wake those black bastards up” or “Can’t they do anything before 6pm?” became commonplace among the citizens. Coincidentally, the Gargoyles’ inability to fight crime during dusk made crime their fault in everyone’s eyes.

One of the townspeople alerted the others after finding out where the Gargoyles hid when in their stone form. Blind, racist hatred led to the clan being wiped out. The townspeople took hammers to each Gargoyles.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, folklore was spread of them being legendarily lazy bums. Then shiftlessness unfairly became associated with all black people. Goliath, I promise you, I will personally help annihilate this lie. Your name will be restored and our people will regain our power. Peace, brothers.

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