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You FAIL in Love – Governator 2: Ahnuld’s Revenge

August 17, 2011

I had to update this because of what the body building former head of Cahlyfornyah did last week. I thought he and Shriver were cool, but, ummm…

Front: IT'S TIME Back: I SURVIVED MARIA

Allow me to audition for the role of Advocate to the Devil for a second. (clear throat | Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La, Ti, Dooo | stare at invisible skull in my hand of poor Yorick | okay, I’m ready…) Maybe he wasn’t paying attention when he put the shirt on. Apparently Maria gave him that shirt years ago as a joke. It’s possible that he threw it on to jog in and didn’t even realize. AAAAAAND SCENE!

YEAH RIGHT! Here’s the problem… people like Arnold have handlers. People that are paid to say “I don’t think you wanna do that, homeboy.” NOBODY saw Schwarzenegger leave with that on and tried to stop him? Naw, pimp. So that had to be on purpose. You’re a real jerk, guy. But it’s just my opinion which is worth about as much as your vows. Congratulations, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for doing what was thought to be impossible…

*YOU CAN READ THE ORIGINAL POST BELOW*

For the second installment of You FAIL in Love, I thought we should take a closer look at the current master…

Good grief, Arnold Schwarzenegger. You are one of the greatest dumb men and/or one of the dumbest great men on this tiny planet. This guy is the jerk king of the cosmos. Here’s a synopsis for those that don’t know the story. Ahnuld is (or was) married to Maria Shriver.

Shriver’s a long time reporter and a lifelong Kennedy. That means she has personal investigative skills and detectives, secret service, etc. at her fingertips at any given moment. Those two things alone make me think she knew more than we think, but I digress. She’s a pretty lady. But that wasn’t enough for SchwartzeN-word. He was bumping uglies with this lady…

YIKES! Mildred Patricia Baena was Arnold and Maria’s maid for umpteen years. Arnold got his wife and maid pregnant around the same time. Did he care? Nope. She stayed the maid. They were probably bangin’ around the house when Shriver wasn’t home… or when she was in the pool… or when she was upstairs. Just speculating lol. The former governor kept it a secret for over a decade. But you know what? I don’t care about any of that! He REALLY fails because of what had to “GET TO ‘THE CHOPPER'” because of him. Watch this trailer:

Yeah, that was definitely going to get watched. But, despite the months of work put in, it was scrapped after his admission. Why? Because The Governator’s alter ego was a family man. It’s difficult to be that when voiced by a scumbag that has sex with and children by two women (one, of which, that’s not his wife) under the same roof that likely interacted with each other everyday about their simultaneous pregnancies and keeping dust off the mantle. You knew what you did when all those people started drawing and invested time in that show. Arnold, not only are you a dick…

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Manuel L. Ponte permalink
    October 1, 2012 4:48 pm

    Arnold was/is definitely a tit man.

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