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Cartoon Black History: Bucky O’Hare

September 22, 2011

Sometimes we are chosen through divine intervention to do things. I was walking in a field when I saw a light. The light was coming from a piece of glass. It was some sort of tablet that said “Captain’s Log” when I touched it. The glass tablet was clearly from the future. I read through it and knew it was my destiny to tell the story of this great black man.

Captain Bucky O’Hare would go on to save our great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren in the year 2216. He led his crew into a war so his people could live freely. Allow me to introduce you to his team:

The giant is Bruiser, the lady is Jenny, next to her is Deadeye and by him is the android, Blinky. But Willy DuWitt, the white kid in the back, was most important (DUH!). He’s the reason I have the glass tablet in the first place.

Willy is a genius kid engineer that built a photon accelerator in 2011. Bucky had his own in 2216. When both happened to be turned on at exactly the same time, it sent Willy to the future. A startled O’Hare dropped his tablet into the photon beam and it was sent to the past and here we are! He helps build weapons and keep the ship together. I tell you what’s going to happen.

That is the face of hate. That menace is the Toad Air Marshall. He started this Universe War solely because Bucky said the Marshall was not as -enter sarcastic throat clearing here- fly as he (you’d be surprised how many battles clothing starts in the future). But the Air Marshall bit off more than he could chew with Bucky O’Hare!

Captain O’Hare took his crew of misfits into combat against hundreds of the Toad Air Marshall’s men. Bucky fought through the Marshall’s front line to get to him and end the war for good. He did exactly that and put a bullet in the Air Marshall’s head in very dramatic fashion.

The universe was saved… the end. Now I don’t know much about the space/time continuum, but I’m pretty sure I just changed the future by telling you this war story. And, with as thorough as I was with the information, I’d guess I have adversely effected the next couple centuries… dah well. Much like global warming, it’s not my problem.

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