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NF(ai)L(ures)

November 23, 2011

313 is Detroit's area code. That's what made that score cool.

There will be a lot of football to watch tomorrow. That’s a lot of time to marvel at great plays and feel disgust over dropped passes. I’ll go through those emotions. But I also get to laugh at the stupid names. I believe some/all of these players’ parents gave them dumb ass names to force them to play sports since they wouldn’t be taken serious in white collar jobs. Here are a view of the greats:

Plaxico Burress (to me, he’s the Godfather of the stupid names)

Captain Munnerlyn (I’d like to see the rest of the Munnerlyn swashbuckling crew)

Dick Butkus (I guess he’d be the Great Godfather)

Yourhighness Morgan (I know he’s not in the NFL, but c’mon, son)

Knowshon, Demaryius & Syd’Quan all play for the Broncos (they damn near have every letter of the alphabet in their names)

BenJarvis Green-Ellis (Glengarry Glen Ross)

D’Brickashaw Ferguson (that sounds more like a child’s detective book character than a real human)

Montario Hardesty (Arsenio Hall is even disgusted by your name; and, not to be outdone…)

D’Qwell Jackson (NO!)

Thanks, guys. All those squiggly red misspelling lines under your names have destroyed my computer.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 1, 2011 12:25 am

    Can I clone your article to my blog? Thank you.

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