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Cartoon Black History: Woodstock

January 5, 2012

Things like 420 have very humble beginnings… very humble, drug-induced beginnings. The giant music festival called Woodstock started out the same way. But most people think Woodstock just kind of happened. Not only is that incorrect, it takes its namesake from a tiny, “high”-yellow black man.

Woodstock was an up-and-coming musician. He was good at all instruments. But, for some reason, he was only great when stoned. Woodstock was well known to take a concoction of mushrooms and extacy pills, sit by his equipment, see crazy stuff and wake up with a new song. I’m guessing this is what his brain saw…

Now there were two things Woodstock excelled at unencumbered by narcotics. One was his ability to recruit. People in the music business knew Woodstock. He was able to call a seasoned saxophonist and an acclaimed pianist to be apart of his yet to be named band (in case you haven’t heard of it, “calling” is what people did before the internet).

The second? Woodstock could sing. Ladies passed out listening to this balladeer (there was a time when light-skinned was in, y’know). He crooned, she swooned. As he belted out a tune, her belt would loosen. So on and so forth.

But there was one damsel that seemed unaffected by his music. Woodstock tried courting her. She told him he was cute, but built too much like a woman. She then said “Look a’here, sucka, I don’t wantchu! You got baby-makin’ hips… you hippy!” She laughed as she walked off. Woodstock was highly offended.

When Woodstock finally stopped bawling, he thought about what she said… hippy… it had a nice ring to it. Woodstock had his Eureka moment.

Woodstock called his band The Hippies. He considered his fans Hippies, too. They put on one show every year and every year it got bigger and bigger. Thanks to the drug cocktails the Hippies (the fans) received at the door, they started forgetting they were there to see Woodstock… they thought they were AT Woodstock. The rest is history.

Although Woodstock himself was a bit lost in the shuffle, he was perfectly fine with it. He was the heart of the world’s biggest music festival, for Pete’s sake. After his death, Woodstock was recognized at Woodstock with a statue near the main stage. It was to help people remember that everything is music and if you love it, do it. It is called “Just Grab Your Guitar”.

Thank you, Woodstock, for what you’ve done for music, camaraderie and all the Hippies of the world. The music of that era still resonates today. Your name will forever be legend. Peace.

And for all reading this, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. I hope this was a good swan song… I know Woodstock isn’t a swan! Work with me, sheesh! 🙂

3 Comments leave one →
  1. coolbreezej permalink
    January 5, 2012 3:35 pm

    *slow clap* Well done, Sir.


  1. No, this time he’s really bawling. | psicaptain

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