Feature 5000 x39
As I type this, the view count is 199,599. That means that since 195,000 was many days ago, I officially dropped the ball. In the time since the last Feature 5000, I discovered Greek yogurt and lost my damn mind. But double the amount of protein or not, it’s a horrible excuse. My bad. But I still see Cartoon Black History, You FAIL In Love, etc. floating around the internet thanks to your X-Gamesish web surfing. Thank you, you excellent mouth-breathers. I shall step my game up exponentially.
Shannon is simply an amazing young woman. We worked together slanging jeans to people that like wearing jeans which is why they were coming to buy jeans. Rest assured that it’s more stressful than it sounds. That’s why this lady is so special. She’s always smiling. She’s eternally kind. She made four hours of retail (which is 10 hours in real time) move faster than the speed of light. She’s incredibly super. And if all that isn’t enough, she had the world’s cutest baby… take that, Blue Ivy (lol that’s just stupid and unnecessary)! If you’re reading this and she happens to be next to you, give her a hug for me just cause. But also tell her happy birthday cause, well, today’s her birthday! Thank you for being so supportive, madam. In terms of gifts, I hope this is the worst one you receive today. You deserve a lot!
I can’t believe I’m typing this, but The Consummate Button Masher is about to reach 200,000 views. That’s a milestone and a kilometerrock. You know that means some YouTuberatin’ is up next. See ya soon!